pos. 05 57N, 046 17W after the first night with these huge squalls, I got a bit fearful, and I’m saving the sails a bit. The wind has got stronger, it’s at least 25 knots. Tanasza is climbing the waves with effort, then sliding down on her side, and if she happens to get one more from the stern, the deck gets flooded... then she brakes a little at the bottom of the wave, because there is no wind down there... and then it speeds up again, climbing the waves... it feels like some rodeo. I must admit I’m a bit tired. I had a short circuit in my gps alarm, and now I’m not sure if there are really no ships r I just can’t see them in ais. I thought I saw one on the display at night, but either it was a dream, or I was so tired that I ignored it... I would like to see something, just to check if everything works all right. One solar panel doesn’t work, so I have to use the engine to charge the battery.  Sometimes I can hear Polish sailor, as they’re chatting on the...

I woke up at night without any particular reason. There was a ship right in front of me, but it hadn’t been there when I’d looked at AIS. Well, I like to think it was a friendly Brazilian fisherman, but after the recent news of pirate attacks in this area, I don’t even talk on the radio if I don’t have to. Now, I’m just passing them, they’re about 4 miles away. It’s 0330 local time. I’m glad to be awake. later: zulu 1930, position: 04 57N, 044 33W,

pos. 04 05N, 043 06W Squalls come in the dark of the night, without any warning, they are long and strong (there’s no moon and I can’t see anything). I think I’ll add fuel to the cooker today, I’m fed up with dry Chinese noodles;) 

Position: 02 56N, 041 35W, Finally, I’ve found the South Equatorial Current I’ve been looking for... not the largest one, but it’s always nice to find something in the ocean :)  It’s difficult to find a right place in my bunk; the yacht rocks too much...

Position: 01 43 N, 040 15 W, Windy, 20-25 knots, I am going by the wind. A ship 8 miles north from me mentioned that they had a “good” current. I am reaching it slowly. Squalls last night were so strong that I had to reef sails to the point when my speed dropped almost to zero. I would love to put on just a bit of sail... I kept watch for the entire night. Squall-like clouds in the horizon accompany me today. It’s not nice under the deck but I can’t do much. Warm thoughts of my dearest ones brought dolphins to me, as well as a rainbow... I also saw pinkish jellyfish of some kind. My combed hair (an achievement worth mentioning) got into wings of a fan, and the thing broke again... I had to revive it again...  

I’ve just passed the Equator! Position: 00 00 51 N, 037 56 W  2150 ZULU time, 23 April, 2009 I made a toast to Neptune with a glass of juice, thank him for everything so far and asked him for his continued support. I talked to another ship on a radio. It sailed nearby. According to maps, we should be going along a 2-knot current, but it seems to be otherwise :( later: it is hot! I think I’m losing the current. Hopefully, my hand will heal when I stop wetting and irritating it with ropes. Flying ants still present. Although I am head to wind, I can still sail slowly. Positive thoughts are with me all the time. 

00 13 S, 037 34 W;  1600 zulu.   The wind is just the opposite of what I need. Wicked, huh? I’m forcing myself to eat something. I took a bath, I started to mend the fan again. I’m trying to rest, but it’s difficult, and the squalls and slow pace don’t help here...

position:  00 59 S, 036 23 W, There’s a bit of sun, I’m going right into the wind (NNW), the current still opposite. later: squalls are coming from the back, the head wind doesn’t let me go where I should, the only choice is to get to the west a bit (too much), and then come back in the counter current, plus I have a swell coming from the west. It all looks like some sailors’ nightmare. Well, I have to be patient and do what I can, waiting for some change... step by step... mile by mile... later: after the rain, I run downwind for a while, and now it died completely. I sow a whale, it jumped above water and waved its tail at me:)

position: 01 47 S, 035 27 W, 224 mil away from Fernando, should be at least 300:( I decided to go away from the shore to “lose” this opposite current. Get away, I’ve been trying to get it over with fro three days. There’s been no wind since yesterday, instead there are clouds and rain. Sailing teaches patience, that’s for sure! Right now, as I’m sending this blog entry, the SW wind came. Interesting... Well, at least there is ANY wind, and it seems that I’m slowly getting out of this current!!!

position 02 39S, 034 49W; gosh! Squalls, rain, strong head wind, then a wave, then nothing, then head wind again, and silence again... and all that with a counter current that prevents me from going faster. I couldn’t turn ff the engine, Janek helped me from Hawaii, we talked on the phone. He knows Tanasza really well, he helped me prepare it before the cruise. From now on, I’m going to do it by taking off the trap and lying on the engine in order to reach a gear that is right at the back of it.  My hand slipped yesterday and it landed on an alternator. It was working... My finger doesn’t look good, but it could be worse. There is a yacht on the left today. Some couple have been sailing around the world for 16 years on it... They have no lights at night, so they have to watch out for me... I need to sleep a bit, after all. 

position: 03 06 S, 033 38 W, Sunday, 1800 zulu When we were looking for the anchor again, two sharks, a barracuda, and two turtles were staring at Bita, a fisherman, but the anchor didn’t want to show up, it probably chose to stay in this beautiful part of the world. A French loner helped me pull the pontoon up. As soon as I left the buoy, I was attacked by a mass of winged ants. Fishermen  called me on the radio to check if everything was all right a few more times. I’m really touched, people are so kind here. There was no wind at night, now it’s blowing a little. It’s really hot and sultry, sometimes a rainy cloud comes by. I’m in the middle of some current which is totally opposite to the one I want to get into, so I don’t even have to tell you that these 3,5 knots don’t make me happy... Well, at least I’m 80 miles away from the shore – we have to be happy with what we’ve got. I’ve felt really weak all day. I can’t remember when I last was so...

18.04 The autopilot arrived last night!!! Jeeez, I’m so happy!!! So much effort, so many tears and thousands of phone calls to Sao Paolo and to Chicago, where Andy and Krzysztof Kamiński fought like lions for quick delivery of the package. I also got some fudge and Polish magazines. Thank you so much!!! I jumped into the pontoon and rushed to check if it works. It does! It does:) I’m checking out tomorrow. I have to sort out just a few things, including the treasure (=anchor) search. As soon as we’re done, I’m leaving:)

13-17.04.09 I got down to work straightaway, I pumped the pontoon, but then the outboard motor wouldn’t start. After a lot of sweating and cursing, it turned out that I forgot to open the fuel intake:) Clever girl, huh?;) Then, with a little help from Brazilian sailors, I dealt with a leak, then the customs. I didn’t have to pay as I hadn’t plan to stay here, and the island is rather expensive. And then... yoghurt, at last!!! I gulped like a dozen of little bottles, then I found Paulo, the electronics guy, and we fixed the bilge pump (poor lad, he would get onboard a few times to throw up, but he was really tough, and always came back, until he finally repaired it), then he miraculously got me a loudspeaker (probably the only one available on the island),  and I can finally listen to some music!!! A solitary French sailor arrived here yesterday. He had spent 2 weeks doing a 300-mile distance, as he has no engine, and there was hardly any wind... it must be great when...

I’ve just woken up, it’s 0530a.m., the stars are just great, and I can feel this wonderful and soft breeze... I’m 16 miles away from the anchorage, I can already see the island lights, and I think I can recognize its outline. I’m really excited, I heard it’s really amazing. We’ll see. at 0730 local time I anchored at Fernando de Noronha. My God, it’s so beautiful

12.04.08 Easter, a big day, indeed Still 73 miles to go. I’ve had another tough night. I got kind of friendly with squalls. One of them actually woke me up just in time for me to notice that I was on a collision course with a ship. I’m near the land, which means there are a lot of them here, I need to watch out for them. Later, I had a „sauna” day, because my fan got broken (it surely wouldn’t have bothered to do so if I hadn’t needed it, yeah). I spent the last two days at the helm, so now I’m trying to catch up with all the cleaning and stuff like that. I even kind of dressed up, and called mum with my birthday wishes – after all this day long ago was much more important for her than for me, wasn’t it? P.S. I’m getting a lot of text messages with birthday wishes, thank you so much! I may be alone, but I’m not lonely, that’s for sure:)

12.04.2009   There were many Christmas Eves that I spent at sea, but I’m wondering whether it's the first Easter at sea... I think so...and definitely it's the first time I’ve spent Easter alone. What's more, it's also my birthday today. My plans for the holidays, about which I wrote in the letter sent from Saint Helena to my family, were: - to have a beautiful weather at Easter; - I'm going to boil an egg, perhaps I might also colour it with a marker and decorate it with some patterned gaff tape...  -I'll eat the chocolate eggs I got from Beata and Wanda, gherkins, which really taste like the  Polish ones ( from Jadzia), and the white chocolate rabbit wearing a real bell around its neck which I got from Allan for "goodbye"... I'll stick it to the tiller –why not let it steer for a while? :) I wish you all find the time during this Easter for yourselves, for your closest, for your friends... remember to tell the ones you love that you do love them. Sometimes we put...

134 mil to Fernando, Pos: 04 44 S, 030 19 W,  Squalls kept attacking me all night long (once I even couldn’t open my eyes, and the drops were so heavy, it virtually hurt as they were bombing my skin). I know one thing: we can handle a lot, in fact – much more than we think... I’ve just spent 22 hours at the helm, can you imagine that? Human hope is just incredible, too: all night, I kept telling myself that this squall is surely the last one, and then the morning would change something... and it did – wind died totally, which meant that I had to carry on navigating, just this time with the engine on. In the scorching sun, I’ve been looking out for at least a little puff in my sails. I switched the autohelm to light winds, but it didn’t help a lot. I spent all day trying to stay awake, and watching birds as they were hunting tunas springing out of water. I had a nice visit, too – for the first time in the Atlantic, I met a beautiful pod of dolphins...  

 position:  05 36 S, 028 34 W Last night, there were 10 birds on the yacht. One was sitting on my hand and it let me stroke its feather. What's all the big deal about the moon? And the awful red sunset...  during the squall, the autopilot broke down again... and yesterday, there were “only “a few birds on the yacht, and hordes of tuna jumping out (for hours!) from water, not to mention the downpours!!! Squalls! I couldn't even dry up or manage to fix the autohelm... The squalls came with strong rain and wind or with no wind at all, or with wind from a totally unpredictable direction... Anyway, I had to steer all the time... there are such heavy downpours all day long! The wind didn’t stop until midnight. Well, the autohelm wouldn't navigate with no wind so I had to steer on my own. Later, it blew just a little bit and I could lay down. I was so tired that I even didn't take a sip of water. When I fell asleep, the wind changed  and I sailed in the wrong direction – not...

  position:  06 12 S, 027 08 W Today, it has been and still is harder... even writing is beyond my power. What's more, the radio also broke down. How am I supposed to survive it?!?

8.04.2009 Position 06 44 S, 026 03 W,  Last night was a very, very long one for me... So long that I have no will nor strength to talk about it...

7.04.09 Position: 07 22 S, 024 30 W;   515 nautical miles to go. I wonder if I'll make it before the dawn on the 12th... would be nice. Today, for a change, I almost collided with another ship. Seeing her on AIS (it's a system which shows ships around you), I tried calling her for a while but with no response. So when I got nearer, I changed the head and went ahead with all the engine's power. I managed to pass the ship untouched and, when I was already about half a mile farther, a Korean man spoke to me asking where from and what for I was speaking. Yeah, great... Does he think it's still the 1st of April or what?   

position: 08 21 S, 022 40 W;  638 nautical miles to the destination. Tonight, I had a lot dreams because I had to get up time and again to pump the bilge. Once, there was something wrong with the head so I thought: "the self steering gear really won't make it much longer." And then what do I see? A bird sitting on a batten! I couldn't believe my eyes! There is so much space on the board and the bird, so unpretentiously, is sitting on the very last thing on the yacht. It looked a bit comic when it was trying to hold on to the batten which was moving in the wind. I felt so sorry for the bird that it'd be heartless to scare it away although the yacht was sailing in the wrong direction because of the bird sitting on the batten. Later, I could see it sitting in the sun on the panel, then closer to the mast, and in the morning it was gone. I hope it got enough rest before its, just like mine, 600-mile-journey to its next stopover on the land (or maybe if its heading to Africa, then...

 I don’t know how it happened that I have only one chocolate bar left... I counted and it turned out that I did one piece a day since I left the island. Hard to believe... I ate half of the bar at once, you know – comfort food, relieves stress and tension...The self-steering gear gets disconnected more and more often with no apparent reason... Trinidad radio station is somewhat (I’ll refrain myself from using bad language) “weird”. Although the range is fine, I can’t get connected...

You will not believe it. It turns out that the part that I need to replace (an actuator?) a kind of arm which moves the tiller :), which means that there is nothing to be soldered, welded or whatever... And I was going crazy here, telling myself off for not paying attention at my physics classes. When I reach the island I will just get the entire arm and I will simply plug it into a socket (works better that way :) ) What a story! Made me laugh. The current is carrying me smoothly to San Fernando.

As I have enough of worrying about my electric/electronic abilities, I have invented a new sport– leg hair removal with the use of a pincer. I recommend it to every woman who needs to calm her thoughts and wind down. Although my bushes are quite long, the good news is that on scars, which I have plenty of, hair doesn't grow. Hey, look, here is a souvenir of hurting myself on a paraglide when I was a small girl, and here of burning myself with an exhaust pipe... oh! And here, I guess, something must have gone wrong while snowboarding! And here I fell down from the mast... and so on... As I had so much time to relax, I have thought several things over: a. It's extremely hot and it's going to be even hotter nearer the equator b. It would be faster with the autopilot and spinnaker :) c. Gosh... if they invented an actuator that can install itself, it really would be something! I'd like a boiled egg with mayonnaise. But I have no mayonnaise, and I have run out of eggs...

01.04.09  11 58S, 1500 W, I am supposed to fix the autopilot myself, right? Well, it’s April Fools’ Day, and this sounds like one of the best jokes I've ever heard, except that I'm not laughing, not at all. Just imagine that you're sailing, you're in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, the autopilot breaks down and it turns out that "autopilots of this kind are no longer produced"!!! Apparently, I am going to receive an actuator by post. An actuator.. . I wonder what it looks like. I should look it up in a book or something. Eh, and I have to face it all at my old age? Me? To fix? An autopilot? Yeah, right... I like it but I'm totally terrified at the same time.

Have you seen the effect of my work and the reason for which I set off delayed from Capetown? Well, I haven't, as I don't have a tv set on the board of Tanasza yet :). [for those of you who don’t live in PL – Nat took part in a tv commercial for one of popular painkillers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO9Wo9dZWmI&feature=player_embedded] I made you wait for the explanation for a while, but I hope you'll forgive me and like the surprise, won't you? As you already know, I had unusual guests in South Africa – a film crew. For a couple of long days we worked really hard. To me, it was a completely new and extraordinary experience. What is most important is that my participation in this project enabled me to support the Anna Dymna's Against the Odds foundation. Now, I can continue my cruise and Robert will be able to set on his dreamt voyage. In a few weeks, Robert will fly to me to St....

370 nautical miles from the last island, 1360 from the next one. the last two days have really washed me out (another strange idiom, isn't it?). Still at night, the one with all the breakdowns, I was hanging over the stern trying to mend the autopilot. And if it weren't enough, the headlamp died. So, I had to hold the torch between my teeth, needed one hand to support myself on something and go ahead, do what you have to do :) I drank some seawater, got bruised. In the morning, I checked and corrected my dab-hand work and all I can do now is pray that the sprocket doesn't wear off. Thus, I spend my days praying :) In the meantime, I've got a few people involved in my problems. One of them is Krzysztof Kaminski (www.interprosailingteam.com), who will buy me a new autopilot, which is supposed to miraculously get to the Brazilian island called Fernando de Naronha for which I am heading at the moment. It's so good that I can always...

Today I would like to share with you a collection of stories “More than 101 true tales” written by Andrew Willman – a friend of mine I met in Durban, South Africa. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. More than 101 true tales

13 30S, 11 04 W, almost in the middle of the Atlantic... During the night, the squall came, and the autohelm turned off. I stood at the helm for quite a long time, I reefed and went to sleep. And that's all, we manage somehow. It has to be good. Life goes on and things  always somehow turn out well.

March 29th And why does it all happen at night? Can anyone explain it to me? It happened: the autopilot died. It worked for more than half of the world, though. It's a real pity because near the equator, with no wind, the self-steering gear won't make do.... 280 nautical miles from the island. 14 05 S, 010 10 W My strength has failed me. At night, just when the autopilot broke down, the self steering gear did the same. I mended what I could mend, but the part which is supposed to go vertically doesn't function properly. I don't know how much longer it's going to work. Apart from the fact that I'm afraid to spread the sail not to charge it too much, which slows me down, the very steering of this equipment leaves a lot to be desired –it doesn't react quickly enough to waves and wind. I don't know what will happen when stronger wind comes. I wish it would work till Fernando de Noronha Island... still 1460 nautical miles to go... Bilge pump float broke down as well...  

28 03 2009 180 nautical miles from the island, 4 p.m. Zulu time, Saturday, location: 14 45 S, 008 35 W   It's really hard to send a message now. I can barely reach the South African station and the next from Trinidad doesn't reach me yet. It may happen that I'll be silent for some time. 

I set sail at 8 p.m. (yesterday).  I feel a bit sorry... While pulling out the anchor chain, I got soiled with sludge and I must have been panting loudly because the crew of a yacht moored next to mine came on board as one man (another weird saying?)  to wave me goodbye :) During the stop, I didn't get much rest and I set off more tired than before getting there. I raised the mainsails, which was futile, because I was still in the shadow of the island. And when I was spreading the sail down, one batten slid out just by the mast and got stuck near the lazy jacks... which, just out of spite, got stuck at the boom... I was struggling but I managed to mend it ,so I decided to have a nap, and just as I was going to do it...what do I see? A ship! Yes, a ship! A regular ship... probably they have brought my yoghurt! :) The night is dark with a lot of stars, some wind aft, which means I have to take a roundabout way. During the day it's getting hotter and hotter so I'm trying to...